The Beginning

My story is not a pretty one. It is long, filled with doctors visits, and tears and frustration, and it isn't over yet. It begins St. Patrick's Day 2016, well actually it probably goes back further but in order to maintain some level of dignity we will start at St. Patrick's Day.

If you have never experienced a St. Patrick's Day in Savannah, Ga then you should know it is a wild affair. The entire month of March descends on the city like a tsunami of green, green streets, green beer, green people, and though I was living in Kennesaw for school I was not about to miss out on my favorite time of year at home. It is often necessary to plan at least two outfits for St. Pat's: one for mass and the parade and one for late night debauchery in City Market.

This was the first time I looked in the mirror and really saw the other looking back at me.

I dug through my drawers and closet for a pair of cut off jeans I had not worn since summer the year before (a note: it's warm in Savannah in March, well all the time really) and when I went to put them on I froze in my tracks. I couldn't get them past my knees. I have never in my life felt such a feeling, I didn't even notice I was gaining weight, in the blur of work, classes and rehearsals I barely had time to sleep let alone look in the mirror. Plus I was working out multiple times a week and not eating THAT badly, how had this happened? I looked into the mirror and suddenly this other person was staring back at me. For the first time I saw the pallor in my skin, the dark circles under my eyes, the weight I had put on over the past few months.

I had been having some pretty severe stomach issues which I had basically ignored in order to continue driving myself to be as productive as possible in school. I was throwing up on a regular basis, in constant pain, and never felt energized. I was drinking 8-10 shots of espresso a day just to get out of bed and sleeping through alarms every time I turned around. In short my body was deteriorating and it took this moment of recognition as I tried to slip into my favorite pair of shorts to realize something had to change.

Flash forward and it has been 2 1/2 years and many things have led me to finally finding balance and health again, though I still have a lot more growing to do. This blog is for people wanting to find health, but tired of staring at perfectly sculpted bodies. Its for people wanting balance, who are tired of social media influencers that never cheat on their diets or miss a day at the gym. This is for people like me.